


9 foxes walk into a bar

by svcculents



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Gay, gabby this is for u, groupchat fic, guys i am so sorry, i have no idea how to tag this, i was gonna make kevin and aaron get together but maybe later, it just came to me, me writing a tfc skatesquad, rip thx for putting up w me guys, some useful tags, thats a lie i love skatesquad and i was like hey you know whats a good idea, there we go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2018-10-03 07:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10238747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svcculents/pseuds/svcculents
Summary: doesnickyisgay added aminyard, thebetterminyard, imcatholicnotdead, queenofexy, neil.josten, cattybitch, exyandhennessy and datboyd to this coversation.doesnickyisgay named the conversation "9 foxes walk into a bar".nicky makes a groupchat and doesn't make good decisions. chaos ensues. enjoy





	1. team bonding

_doesnickyisgay added aminyard, thebetterminyard, imcatholicnotdead, queenofexy, neil.josten, cattybitch, exyandhennessy and datboyd to this coversation._

_doesnickyisgay named the conversation "9 foxes walk into a bar"._

doesnickyisgay: team bonding 

queenofexy: why

thebetterminyard: who the fuck are you people

datboyd: i wonder which one is neil

neil.josten: nicky your name is grammatically inaccurate

doesnickyisgay: it's a meme neil

neil.josten: what's a meme. did you mean même

aminyard: someone get him out of my sight

cattybitch: which one are you

aminyard: why are you talking to me

cattybitch: see it could be either one of you

thebetterminyard: im aaron

exyandhennessy: andrew ur name is boring

thebetterminyard: he only uses aminyard so i can't

datboyd: andrew ur my hero

aminyard: how do i leave this

doesnickyisgay: you don't

imcatholicnotdead: no escape

aminyard: i don't like any of you

doesnickyisgay: you like neil ;))

aminyard: i hate you

neil.josten: how could you say you hate another man when i'm right here

doesnickyisgay: did neil just make a joke

exyandhennessy: matt get the camera he's growing up

aminyard: i want a divorce

doesnickyisgay: what

datboyd: what

thebetterminyard: what

exyandhennessy: what

imcatholicnotdead: what

cattybitch: what

neil.josten: oh yeah we got married last saturday. tax benefits

aminyard: that's not why

queenofexy: they made me be there

thebetterminyard: so you invited kevin but not me???? I AM YOUR BLOOD

aminyard: and

thebetterminyard: this is why i don't talk to you

aminyard: your loss. i've been told i'm great at conversations

thebetterminyard: by who

aminyard: idk

neil.josten: how touching

doesnickyisgay: are we just gonna ignore andrew saying they didn't get married for tax benefits

cattybitch: yes the monster has feelings we've been over this

neil.josten: don't call him that

aminyard: i don't need you to defend me

neil.josten: then tell her to stop

neil.josten: exactly

thebetterminyard: gross

cattybitch: can you at least try and hide your homophobia

aminyard: i second that

cattybitch: don't agree with me it's unnerving

thebetterminyard: i'm not homophobic i just don't like neil

neil.josten: i believe it

queenofexy: you people do realize practice starts in 30 minutes where are you

imcatholicnotdead: 30 minutes away

datboyd: kevin my dude u gotta chill

queenofexy: do the ravens chill

neil.josten: fuck the ravens

aminyard: fuck you

neil.josten: i love you too

aminyard: gay

doesnickyisgay: WHAT

neil.josten: andrew stop talking to yourself

thebetterminyard: i think he's talking to nicky

doesnickyisgay: D:

imcatholicnotdead: wtf is that. use :(( like a real man

doesnickyisgay: RENEE

imcatholicnotdead: what

exyandhennessy: jesus christ

imcatholicnotdead: is amazing :)

datboyd: can we add wymack

queenofexy: absolutely not

aminyard: do it

thebetterminyard: you all are going to make him an alcoholic

cattybitch: y'all. just say it

thebetterminyard: i would rather die

thebetterminyard: @ andrew and neil that was not an invitation

aminyard: what a shame

doesnickyisgay: THE POOR GROOM'S BRIDE IS A WHORE

neil.josten: don't be rude

doesnickyisgay: you went on live tv and basically told riko to suck your dick

neil.josten: i'm great

queenofexy: dad doesn't get paid enough for this shit

exyandhennessy: u called him dad

queenofexy: well

doesnickyisgay: this is heartwarming

aminyard: this is homophobic

thebetterminyard: how

aminyard: i'm gay and this inconveniences me

doesnickyisgay: i can't believe andrew invented homosexuality

thebetterminyard: i want to go home

queenofexy: PRACTICE STARTS IN TEN MINUTES

_doesnickyisgay renamed the conversation "nine foxy motherfuckers go and play stickball"._

queenofexy: it

queenofexy: is

queenofexy: not

queenofexy: STICKBALL.

doesnickyisgay: boi shut up

aminyard: that's the worst thing you've ever done

neil.josten: why is this my life

thebetterminyard: didn't you choose this particular life

neil.josten: why is aaron right

neil.josten: did i really just say that

thebetterminyard: VINDICATION

aminyard: you took that from b99

thebetterminyard: you watch b99?

aminyard: of course

thebetterminyard: glad

doesnickyisgay: this is the best thing i've ever done

aminyard: someone get josten away from me

datboyd: which movie hasn't he seen now

aminyard: what.

datboyd: i had a feeling

aminyard: he hasn't seen star wars

thebetterminyard: he hasn't seen star wars???

thebetterminyard: this is who you chose over me

aminyard: i'm regretting that

datboyd: NEIL WHO HASN'T SEEN STAR WARS

imcatholicnotdead: neil why

neil.josten: i dont understand whats happening

neil.josten: why are the stars fighting each other

exyandhennessy: oh honey

queenofexy: neil what the fuck even jean has seen star wars

neil.josten: that french fucker can go fuck himself

datboyd: LANGUAGE

neil.josten: ur not my dad

datboyd: can i be ur dad

exyandhennessy: we're your parents now

neil.josten: andrew is your son in law

thebetterminyard: so nicky and i are with andrew what about reynolds and renee

cattybitch: why can you say her name but not mine

thebetterminyard: i don't like you

exyandhennessy: allison is my sister and renee is her wife

doesnickyisgay: what

imcatholicnotdead: did we forget to tell you

doesnickyisgay: fucking hell. andrew you'll get your money later

aminyard: you owe me 500

thebetterminyard: will i be allowed to have a dog in the dorms

neil.josten: we have two cats and no ones noticed

queenofexy: i've noticed

aminyard: stop exposing me

neil.josten: i exposed both of us

doesnickyisgay: this is the best day of my life

cattybitch: i knew you had pets

neil.josten: you know nothing

imcatholicnotdead: i want a cat

aminyard: take mine i hate them

doesnickyisgay: what are their names????

neil.josten: they don't have names. andrew just calls them ugly 1 and ugly 2

thebetterminyard: of course he does

doesnickyisgay: sir fluffalot

datboyd: mr whiskerton

exyandhennessy: kevin

queenofexy: pls no

doesnickyisgay: sir fat cat mccatterson

datboyd: i like that

imcatholicnotdead: that's cute nicky

doesnickyisgay: thank u

neil.josten: we're using it

aminyard: die

neil.josten: you wish

thebetterminyard: can u flirt when im not here

neil.josten: "im not homophobic" he says

thebetterminyard: im not. i just don't like you or trust you. name the other cat king fluffkins

doesnickyisgay: omg aaron!!!!!! thats so cute!!!

datboyd: wtf thats adorable

neil.josten. ..thank you we're using it

aminyard: i want a divorce

neil.josten: fine i'll marry aaron

thebetterminyard: what part of i don't like you don't you understand

aminyard: shove him off the roof then i won't have to deal with him

datboyd: thats mean

neil.josten: it's his way of saying he cares

thebetterminyard: its his way of saying he cares

thebetterminyard: im leaving

cattybitch: i would like to thank god,

imcatholicnotdead: praise jesus

queenofexy: all of you are late for practice

neil.josten: FUCK

aminyard: good

the betterminyard: ^

imcatholicnotdead: glad

datboyd: dan and i are still in bed

exyandhennessy: leave me alone i'm taking buzzfeed quizzes apparently matt and i are gonna get married in bora bora at age 35

datboyd: how much is this wedding gonna cost me

exyandhennessy: be happy ur going pro

queenofexy: if matt can do it so can andrew

aminyard: fuck off

neil.josten: kevin is right for once

thebetterminyard: can we go five minutes without talking about exy

neil.josten: what kind of a life would that be

cattybitch: i want spring rolls

imcatholicnotdead: omw

exyandhennessy: i'm rewatching gossip girl and i would like everyone to know i hate louis more than i hate dailymail

datboyd: THE ENDING WAS SO SHITTY

imcatholicnotdead: the ivy thing was so messy

neil.josten: what's gossip girl

doesnickyisgay: a show you need to watch like right now

neil.josten: what's it about

aminyard: a bunch of rich new york kids being haunted by some asshole who posts about everything they do and it gets much more interesting when everyone graduates from high school

datboyd: what the fuck

imcatholicnotdead: excuse me

thebetterminyard: if you tell me you watch gossip girl i'm going to shoot myself

aminyard: i like drama if i'm not involved

cattybitch: andrew i love you

aminyard: i still don't like you

cattybitch: my heart is broken

queenofexy: will you put your goddamn phones away and get to practice 

aminyard: no 

thebetterminyard: no 

neil.josten: give me a minute 

cattybitch: you ruined it 

datboyd: shook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry but tbh im rly not  
> quick reminder for everyones names if u didn't get them  
> andrew - aminyard  
> aaron - thebetterminyard  
> renee - imcatholicnotdead  
> kevin - queenofexy  
> neil - neil.josten  
> nicky - doesnickyisgay  
> allison - cattybitch  
> dan - exyandhennessy  
> matt - datboyd  
> come talk 2 me on my tumblr thx guys see u later


	2. i'm literally santa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where neil fucks up, aaron gets real and kevin really loves stabby

doesnickyisgay: guys i made us in the sims

datboyd: omg u didn't

doesnickyisgay: ur right. i only made me kevin neil and the twins

datboyd: wow

imcatholicnotdead: REKT

exyandhennessy: renee ur scaring me

thebetterminyard: why are you playing the sims

doesnickyisgay: why aren't you playing the sims

doesnickyisgay: well sim aaron just died

thebetterminyard: wtf why

aminyard: what did you do

doesnickyisgay: nothing!!!! he just went into the bathroom and starting chopping up some vegetables and i looked away for one second and when i came back the grim reaper was there

neil.josten: sounds like aaron

thebetterminyard: are you telling me i died from making food

cattybitch: why didn't you make me. i'm a Delight™

queenofexy: there can only be one queen and it's not you

cattybitch: u wanna go???? I WILL SHOVE STILETTOS IN YOUR CORNEAS

datboyd: damn ali chill

cattybitch: no

queenofexy: this is racism

cattybitch: o shit my bad

neil.josten: how many of us are white

cattybitch: just me apparently

thebetterminyard: not josten?

neil.josten: i'm half pakistani

thebetterminyard: oh sorry. that's cool

neil.josten: its fine. and thx

aminyard: can we ban the word fine from this groupchat

datboyd: what a good idea

neil.josten: what no

exyandhennessy: rule one of the fox groupchat: no saying the word fine

neil.josten: i hate all of you

aminyard: stop whining. and that's my line

cattybitch: wait guys

exyandhennessy: what

cattybitch: nicky

doesnickyisgay: hi

cattybitch: did the twins go to prom

thebetterminyard: nicky don't you fucking dare

aminyard: he made us go

cattybitch: i am ACTIVELY YELLING thank you jesus this is the best thing that has ever happened to me

datboyd: pics or not real

doesnickyisgay: just a warning i've only got aaron bc andrew somehow got out of every picture

neil.josten: rip

cattybitch: how do u know what that means

neil.josten: its on tombstones??

imcatholicnotdead: roasted

neil.josten: matt taught me how to use it

datboyd: ##proud

exyandhennessy: why r u using double hashtags

datboyd: skatesquad

doesnickyisgay: YURI ON ICE

aminyard: fucking weebs

cattybitch: look as much as i love yuri on ice can i see aaron's prom pics now

thebetterminyard: NO

doesnickyisgay: attachedimage.jpg

doesnickyisgay: attachedimage.jpg

doesnickyisgay: attachedimage.jpg

exyandhennessy: oh

imcatholicnotdead: my

datboyd: god

aminyard: if i had feelings i would be laughing

neil.josten: u have feelings stfu. this is rly unfortunate tho

cattybitch: AARON UR HAIR

_thebetterminyard has left the conversation._

cattybitch: ASDFGHJKL

datboyd: i cannot believe

doesnickyisgay: how dare he

_doesnickyisgay added thebetterminyard to the conversation._

neil.josten: that hair is almost as unfortunate as your personality

thebetterminyard: okay first of all fuck you kevin's emo phase was worse

queenofexy: don't drag me into this

imcatholicnotdead: im asking jean for pictures

queenofexy: RENEE NO

imcatholicnotdead: RENEE YES

cattybitch: wait who did they go with

doesnickyisgay: each other i think

cattybitch: did u guys have no friends

aminyard: no

thebetterminyard: no

doesnickyisgay: no

cattybitch: wow

thebetterminyard: when nicky left andrew and i just walked out and went to get pizza

doesnickyisgay: excuse me

aminyard: can confirm. it was shitty pizza

thebetterminyard: the night was ok

aminyard: yes

doesnickyisgay: that's the closest they'll get to an i love you

thebetterminyard: someone change the damn subject

neil.josten: i made cookies

exyandhennessy: neil my love can i have one i'll love u forced

exyandhennessy: FOREVER** omg

neil.josten: i'll love u forced

datboyd: i'm kinkshaming

aminyard: what kind

neil.josten: chocolate chip and caramel

aminyard: kevin i'm not coming to practice

queenofexy: what why

aminyard: cough cough. i'm sick

thebetterminyard: boo you whore

cattybitch: nicky thank u so much for making this groupchat

doesnickyisgay: trust me this was the lords work

queenofexy: are you actually sick or do you just want to stay in bed and eat neil's cookies while watching parks and recreation

thebetterminyard: please stop watching all the shows i watch

aminyard: no. i like ron

thebetterminyard: i like april

exyandhennessy: aaron and katelyn are april and andy

datboyd: if andrew is ron then who's neil

neil.josten: wtf

exyandhennessy: that random white woman ron marries with two kids

neil.josten: are the cats the kids

doesnickyisgay: YES

datboyd: neil u make ur old man proud

neil.josten: i hate this family

exyandhennessy: SON

aminyard: 174%

thebetterminyard: what does that even mean

aminyard: i'm not telling you

thebetterminyard: who's surprised

thebetterminyard: not me

doesnickyisgay: so i brought aaron back, made katelyn and married them and now they have a son named levi

thebetterminyard: why levi

doesnickyisgay: it's a cute name

aminyard: can you kill me in it

doesnickyisgay: no

doesnickyisgay: OHJHHID GUYS

imcatholicnotdead: what happened r u ok

doesnickyisgay: someone died and levi tried to flirt with the grim reaper but katelyn was like no and started flirting with the grim reaper instead and then aaron saw and got really upset and had a meltdown on the toilet

aminyard: this is canon

thebetterminyard: oh my god

exyandhennessy: JSBSKSBWJE DELETE

datboyd: i'm actually cryign from laugjinf so hard

exyandhennessy: can confirm

cattybitch: this is the best thing i've heard all day

doesnickyisgay: i'm seriously enjoying this

thebetterminyard: you're evil

doesnickyisgay: i'm literally santa

doesnickyisgay: satan**

aminyard: we can see that

cattybitch: hey guys guess what

cattybitch: my dog died on thursday

neil.josten: gay

neil.josten: oh

cattybitch: hxbcjsbw

aminyard: jesus christ

datboyd: neil omg

exyandhennessy: ali are u okay???

cattybitch: i'm okay but @ neil u have good timing

neil.josten: i'm so sorry

neil.josten: what kind of dog

cattybitch: samoyed. his name was bobby

neil.josten: brb

cattybitch: where r u going

neil.josten: u'll see. one sex

neil.josten: SEX*

neil.josten: SEC.

neil.josten: SECOND

aminyard: you're a mess

neil.josten: i request death

datboyd: request denied

  
-

  
cattybitch: GUYS OMG

cattybitch: attachedimage.jpg

cattybitch: neil got me a puppy

neil.josten: it was the least i could do after fucking up that badly

aminyard: 230%

datboyd: THATS THR CUTEST LIL PUPPER

exyandhennessy: Cutest™

imcatholicnotdead: what's it's name????

cattybitch: idk what do i name it

aminyard: stabigail

cattybitch: why the fuck would i name my dog stabigail

aminyard: so you can call it stabby

thebetterminyard: sometimes being related to him isn't that bad

cattybitch: guys meets stabby

queenofexy: ridiculous

cattybitch: u want to hold her don't u

queenofexy: pls let me hold her

cattybitch: open ur fucking door

cattybitch: attachedimage.jpg

cattybitch: he won't let go of stabby

aminyard: take kevin into your room the cats are hissing

queenofexy: i love this dog more than i love vodka

datboyd: damn kevin do u mean it

queenofexy: i said what i said

aminyard: ok terry

thebetterminyard: terry

imcatholicnotdead: omg

aminyard: stop watching b99

thebetterminyard: you can't tell me what to do. this show is the only good thing in my life

aminyard: what about the cheerleader

thebetterminyard: you don't like her so i'm not talking about her

aminyard: you don't like neil so i'm going to talk about him

neil.josten: hi

neil.josten: wait fuck no don't get me involved in your parent trap bullshit

exyandhennessy: DJEBEOWN neil have u even seen that movie

neil.josten: no but i know it's about twins ruining everything

datboyd: well ur not wrong

thebetterminyard: which one am i

aminyard: i want to be the american one

imcatholicnotdead: this gc is a goldmine

imcatholicnotdead: kevin's lying in my bed and he still won't let go of the dog

queenofexy: i love this dog

cattybitch: u can coparent with me and renee

queenofexy: ok

datboyd: is stabby our team mascot

neil.josten: what about rocky foxy

datboyd: rocky's the school mascot we can dress stabby in orange and white

aminyard: what has this dog ever done to you

neil.josten: YES

aminyard: i'm calling a divorce lawyer

neil.josten: okay. i'm marrying matt

datboyd: aight let's do this

exyandhennessy: excuse me does that mean i have to marry andrew

aminyard: i'm gay

exyandhennessy: i can be your trophy wife and we can have affairs with neil and matt

neil.josten: the whole point of this was for me to not be with andrew

aminyard: too bad

thebetterminyard: andrew your cat is on my bed and it hisses at me if i try to move it

aminyard: sounds like a personal problem

aminyard: ugly 1 or ugly 2

thebetterminyard: does he still call them that

neil.josten: giving them names was pointless

thebetterminyard: the fat one

neil.josten: king!!!!

neil.josten: hold on i'm coming

thebetterminyard: attachedimage.jpg

datboyd: is he sleeping in neil's arms???

doesnickyisgay: AWWW

queenofexy: that cat is evil

aminyard: i hate you and your dumb cats

neil.josten: no u don't. king's on ur pillow now

aminyard: use proper spelling

neil.josten: make me. maybe u can do that later tonight

doesnickyisgay: o mg

aminyard: fuck off nicky

thebetterminyard: i'm leaving

thebetterminyard: before you idiots say anything about me being homophobic for the last time i'm not. talking about sex or implying it just makes me uncomfortable

doesnickyisgay: wait is that why u always leave when i'm talking about me and erik

thebetterminyard: that and i don't like erik

doesnickyisgay: why

thebetterminyard: i'm not getting into it

imcatholicnotdead: do u just hate sex in general or is it only okay with certain people?

thebetterminyard: i don't hate it. it's just not for me and i don't think i want it ever

aminyard: http://www.asexuality.org/?q=overview.html here. it's called asexuality

neil.josten: im demisexual and that means i don't like sex without having a really really strong emotional connection. i know u don't like me but if u need someone to talk to i'm here

doesnickyisgay: i'm also here to talk to if u need someone else. i love u a lot and i won't talk about erik stuff that makes u uncomfortable

imcatholicnotdead: i'm asexual too. but i'm the type who's okay with it, just doesn't need it. i'm also here to talk to <3

datboyd: dan and i are everyone else's parents so if u need to talk to us we're here

exyandhennessy: ^^^!!!! always here for advice kiddo

cattybitch: hey it'll be okay little dude. ill give u stabby for the night if u like

queenofexy: i'm not really good at this but if you need someone to talk to i'll try my best

aminyard: i will too

aminyard: aaron's crying and i don't know how to deal with this. wilds get in here

exyandhennessy: OMW.

  
-

  
thebetterminyard: hi

doesnickyisgay: hi

datboyd: how are u feeling dude?

thebetterminyard: better. thanks a lot you guys. it really means a lot

exyandhennessy: <3 <3 <3

thebetterminyard: allison is it okay if i borrow your dog

cattybitch: ofc just wrestle her away from kevin

queenofexy: i already put her in aaron's room

cattybitch: wait then where's aaron

aminyard: with me

aminyard: this got depressing. someone send a meme and explain to neil what it is

neil.josten: WHAT THE FUCK IS A MEME

datboyd: buckle up lil buddy

datboyd: so let's talk about how memes were first created

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if ur asexual i love u and u are perfect the way u are. i can't believe i got this real in only the second chapter  
> talk 2 me on my tumblr thx guys see u later


	3. kevin is kevout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kevin adds friends, allison cant find zoey 101, aaron is the loml and im the Worst™

queenofexy: https://youtu.be/Mh5LY4Mz15o

queenofexy: goid sitee

  
-

  
cattybitch: wtf day

cattybitch: why were u watching history of japan at 3 in the morning

queenofexy: i was drunk leave me alone

cattybitch: i thought u loved stabby more than vodka

queenofexy: well someone took her ://

thebetterminyard: you're not getting her back

cattybitch: r u stealing my dog

thebetterminyard: yes

neil.josten: i'm changing my name

aminyard: again?

neil.josten: yes. who has suggestions

datboyd: bartholomew

exyandhennessy: charles

aminyard: dumbass

neil.josten: ~how about sunrise land~

queenofexy: GLAD

imcatholicnotdead: matt u owe me 150

aminyard: did he finally learn how to meme

neil.josten: i love the history of japan i'm never sleeping again

cattybitch: i wanted to send u guys one of the student athlete memes but i would probably die so remember kids The Grind Never Stops Even For Sleep

datboyd: allison what the fuck

queenofexy: i'm leaving

neil.josten: is this a meme

aminyard: don't teach him what that means

neil.josten: what's a dab?

queenofexy: absolutely not

datboyd: can i tell him

doesnickyisgay: no

neil.josten: i'm going to dye my hair

doesnickyisgay: omg rly??? what color??

neil.josten: orange.

aminyard: no

thebetterminyard: don't

neil.josten: how bout i do

neil.josten: anyway~

queenofexy: yes.

neil.josten: i can get white stripes

queenofexy: and you can put fox print stamps on your hair during game days

cattybitch: i'm leaving this groupchat

aminyard: you know what you should get

neil.josten: what

aminyard: a divorce

cattybitch: i've decided i'm going to have to stay i can't believe you guys convinced me

neil.josten: u can go

exyandhennessy: but we have to stay for the ##drama

cattybitch: ^^

imcatholicnotdead: i'll get the popcorn matt you get the candy

neil.josten: we're not getting a divorce and there is no drama

aminyard: if we get divorced i'm taking ugly 2

neil.josten: his name is sir and fine i'm keeping king

datboyd: u just broke rule one of the foxes groupchat

neil.josten: IT WASNT EVEN IN AN IM FINE CONTEXT

datboyd: HE DID IT AGAIN

thebetterminyard: banish him

queenofexy: all of you shut up i'm adding someone

doesnickyisgay: what

doesnickyisgay: who

doesnickyisgay: i didn't authorize this

exyandhennessy: who. is it thea

queenofexy: no we broke up and aren't talking as much

neil.josten: wait why???

queenofexy: she wants to focus on her career

cattybitch: are u okay?

queenofexy: it's chill i don't really mind we're on good terms. okay i'm adding him now

_queenofexy has added captainsunshine to the conversation._

thebetterminyard: who's that

captainsunshine: hi guys it's jeremy!!! :)

doesnickyisgay: your name makes sense

datboyd: kevin r u serious

captainsunshine: ?????

exyandhennessy: kev's in love with u

captainsunshine: kevin i'm honestly really flattered but i'm taken

queenofexy: 1) dan's a liar don't listen to her and 2) what to who

captainsunshine: i can add him!!!

queenofexy: him?????

cattybitch: kevin's having a breakdown bc ur not into him

queenofexy: THATS A LIE

neil.josten: ur a lie

_captainsunshine added jmoreau to the conversation._

imcatholicnotdead: jean!!!!

cattybitch: what

neil.josten: what

queenofexy: w hat

jmoreau: why

captainsunshine: <3

aminyard: hi jean valjean

jmoreau: i despise you. all of you

captainsunshine: :(

jmoreau: except you mon chou

captainsunshine: :)!!!

neil.josten: what about me

jmoreau: you're ok

queenofexy: ?????

jmoreau: don't get me started on you

queenofexy: morceau de merde

jmoreau: va au diable

captainsunshine: i don't know what ur both saying but i understand va au diable so both of u be nice

jmoreau: why

captainsunshine: i'll hug u

jmoreau: fine

doesnickyisgay: this is so gay and sweet i'm screaming

thebetterminyard: you're staring at your phone with a dead expression

datboyd: EXPOSED

exyandhennessy: did jean teach u va au diable

captainsunshine: he yells it at sara a lot so i looked it up and i was not a happy camper

thebetterminyard: how do you make everything sound positive

imcatholicnotdead: ^^^

doesnickyisgay: wait did jean call u his cabbage

captainsunshine: ????? jean u told me it meant sweetie

jmoreau: it also means cabbage

captainsunshine: which one are u calling me. are u saying i look like a cabbage

neil.josten: he is

captainsunshine: hi neil

neil.josten: hi jeremy

cattybitch: hi allison

imcatholicnotdead: hi renee

neil.josten: v funny

jmoreau: why am i here

captainsunshine: team bonding

jmoreau: this isn't our team

captainsunshine: oh well

doesnickyisgay: i like this one

jmoreau: me too

aminyard: gay

jmoreau: yes

imcatholicnotdead: i'm blessed

doesnickyisgay: no ur catholic not dead

imcatholicnotdead: nicky pls stop ur poor attempts at humor. they make me sad

exyandhennessy: renee oh my god

doesnickyisgay: why are u so mean over text

jmoreau: she does not lie

thebetterminyard: shut it frenchie

jmoreau: which one are you

aminyard: i'm andrew

thebetterminyard: i'm aaron

cattybitch: i'm allison

jmoreau: did i ask

captainsunshine: jean that's not nice :(

jmoreau: hello allison

cattybitch: omg. hi jean

exyandhennessy: what a legend

jmoreau: but i still don't know why i'm here

thebetterminyard: molia ran out of ideas and she's only on chapter 3

neil.josten: who's molia

jmoreau: no one

exyandhennessy: yo we should add laila and sara

doesnickyisgay: YES

neil.josten: who's sara?

aminyard: alvarez. you and moreau have boring names

jmoreau: we have the same

jmoreau: jeremy what word am i looking for

captainsunshine: layout? idea? concept?

jmoreau: concept. you have the same concept as me

aminyard: yes

neil.josten: that was cute

queenofexy: what

jmoreau: thx

aminyard: what

captainsunshine: friendship!!!!

neil.josten: sure

aminyard: im talking to you later

jmoreau: @ jeremy same

cattybitch: im going to fucking murder myself

aminyard: i can do it for you

cattybitch: midget asshole

datboyd: rekt

imcatholicnotdead: no thats not nice

aminyard: renee the only person i don't hate

imcatholicnotdead: u dont hate neil

aminyard: blocked and reported

doesnickyisgay: o mg

cattybitch: okay but i cant find zoey 101 online bc all the sites r shitty and i don't want to pay ten dollars for it

captainsunshine: allison. buy it. its worth it

cattybitch: im gonna do it

cattybitch: i did it

thebetterminyard: i like zoey 101

cattybitch: u do???

doesnickyisgay: my precious child

thebetterminyard: i always wanted to go to pca

thebetterminyard: tbh still do

aminyard: then transfer to the college it was filmed at

thebetterminyard: are you trying to get rid of me

aminyard: sweet dreams

thebetterminyard: he went from trying to get me to leave to implying he's gonna kill me

datboyd: omg

captainsunshine: sibling affection :)

thebetterminyard: no

captainsunshine: :(

doesnickyisgay: look at what you did

imcatholicnotdead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCMhtIhAPL0

doesnickyisgay: "kevin is kevout"

aminyard: "aaron-" "no" "okay"

thebetterminyard: "andrew" "i hate you what is it"

datboyd: this is the best shit i've ever seen

doesnickyisgay: y am i in the bathroom

queenofexy: wheres dad

neil.josten: I DONT EVEN WEAR JORTS ANYMORE

captainsunshine: omg theres 4 parts

jmoreau: you are a disgrace

neil.josten: shut it

jmoreau: i have a dog

neil.josten: LET ME SEE

datboyd: what kind of dog???

jmoreau: attachedimage.jpg

jmoreau: corgi. he is fat

captainsunshine: he's our team mascot!!

queenofexy: name?

jmoreau: napoleon

queenofexy: chien doux <3

jmoreau: <3 <3

datboyd: whats happening

exyandhennessy: i don't know but i want it to keep happening

neil.josten: im going to california bye

jmoreau: don't think you're sleeping in my bed again

datboyd: ok what the fuck is happening

jmoreau: can i tell them or no

neil.josten: sure. idk how to word it

jmoreau: okay. neil was my partner when he went to virginia for christmas. he stayed with me when he got hurt and we stayed in each others beds when it got serious i guess for comfort. we make mild jokes about it

neil.josten: im fine w the jokes as long as they aren't referring to something super specific or him

jmoreau: yes

_( private message: aminyard and neil.josten_

aminyard: did anything else happen?

neil.josten: we kissed a few times. but nothing more

aminyard: okay

neil.josten: are you mad

aminyard: no

neil.josten: r u jealous

aminyard: does your spelling worsen when you're trying to be annoying

neil.josten: is that a yes

aminyard: thats an i hate you

neil.josten: i stopped believing you two years ago )

thebetterminyard: that makes sense. did it get easier to joke about bc some times passed?

jmoreau: i think so. and the fact that we're talking to each other again

thebetterminyard: ah okay

jmoreau: i like this minyard more

thebetterminyard: question

aminyard: what

thebetterminyard: am i the only straight one here

doesnickyisgay: yes

aminyard: that's gay

cattybitch: shut up andrew

aminyard: no

_thebetterminyard has changed their name to theonlystraightonehere_

neil.josten: for once in your life you did something right

captainsunshine: not nice!! :((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys omg im so sorry i was having a few snow days when i started this fic so i had time to update but now school and a bunch of tests and softball practice also me getting writers block but now im bacl also you can pry the headcanon that jean and neil got close during evermore from my cold dead hands ALSO this fic takes place during neil's 3rd year i prob should've mentioned that  
> anyway come talk 2 me on my tumblr thx guys see u later


	4. twinyard trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the twinyards have more moments, secret weebs and andrew wants to watch the world burn

cattybitch: renee

imcatholicnotdead: hello

cattybitch: i love u

imcatholicnotdead: omg guys she loves me

cattybitch: wow

imcatholicnotdead: i love u too

aminyard: gay

jmoreau: gay

jmoreau: stop it

aminyard: you stop it

neil.josten: its time to stop

datboyd: my child

doesnickyisgay: he knows how to meme

captainsunshine: i like memes

doesnickyisgay: who doesn't like memes

exyandhennessy: aaron prob

theonlystraightonehere: leave me out of this

exyandhennessy: do u like memes

theonlystraightonehere: who doesn't like memes

aminyard: he has a point

theonlystraightonehere: stop agreeing with me i don't like it

neil.josten: what if jeans twitter or instagram or some social media name was trojean

captainsunshine: OH MY GOD

jmoreau: no

jmoreau: jeremy no

_jmoreau has changed their name to trojean._

trojean: i hate everything and jeremy is evil

captainsunshine: :)

trojean: neil i hate you

datboyd: don't talk to my son like that

datboyd: dan back me up

exyandhennessy: before sunrise he is your son

theonlystraightonehere: omg

aminyard: omg

neil.josten: ???????

theonlystraightonehere: have you not seen the lion king

theonlystraightonehere: i don't like this name anymore

 _theonlystraightonehere has changed their name to thebetterminyard_.  
  
aminyard: that is unfortunate

thebetterminyard: looks better

aminyard: r u saying u r not straight

exyandhennessy: did he

datboyd: he did

aminyard: what

datboyd: u used "u" and "r"

aminyard: fuck off. where's stabby

cattybitch: cuddling w me and renee

imcatholicnotdead: we r lesbeans

cattybitch: lesbananas

imcatholicnotdead: allison ur bi

cattybitch: buuuuuut, i lean heavily towards girls [finger guns]

imcatholicnotdead: rt

aminyard: gay

cattybitch: stabby ran away rip

  
-

  
datboyd: otis is not a llama. he's an alpaca

neil.josten: y

datboyd: look i love quinn

cattybitch: i'm just waiting for quinn and logan to get together

imcatholicnotdead: nicole and dana would have been a power couple

cattybitch: rt

datboyd: rt

exyandhennessy: y do u keep saying rt

exyandhennessy: wait ignore me aaron u never answered the question

exyandhennessy: aaron

exyandhennessy: u can't avoid us

thebetterminyard: i'm straight

aminyard: i don't want him can someone take him

thebetterminyard: this right here is heterophobia. isn't MY sexuality valid????

thebetterminyard: i'm joking

exyandhennessy: honey you don't have to explain we know we don't think ur an awful person <3

thebetterminyard: oh.. thank you

aminyard: aren't you heteroromantic

thebetterminyard: what's that

aminyard: since you're asexual and you don't want sex that means you only want romantic shit so you would be heteroromantic not heterosexual

thebetterminyard: oh. that makes sense

thebetterminyard: thank you

aminyard: you're welcome

imcatholicnotdead: that was rly cute

aminyard: y

thebetterminyard: y

thebetterminyard: stop it

aminyard: don't tell me how to live my life

thebetterminyard: arguing with andrew is like arguing with a brick wall

aminyard: when it comes to you, the brick wall usually wins

datboyd: DAMN

trojean: shook

captainsunshine: holy shit

thebetterminyard: asshole brother for sale

neil.josten: i'll take him

aminyard: that's gay

exyandhennessy: how many times has he said gay in this groupchat

exyandhennessy: like 40

exyandhennessy: where's nicky???

datboyd: he's barely been here today

cattybitch: nicky's always here for the drama

aminyard: what drama

cattybitch: or twinyard trouble

thebetterminyard: never say that again

captainsunshine: is he sick?? or sleeping maybe

aminyard: attachedimage.jpg

cattybitch: he looks so tired

aminyard: he's been sleeping all day idk what's wrong with him

cattybitch: he had like 4 tests yesterday that's prob why. wait is that my dog

aminyard: how unfortunate. and yes

cattybitch: for gods sake next time you people take stabby let me know

thebetterminyard: can i take her after nicky

cattybitch: yes

neil.josten: i want her after aaron

cattybitch: u have cats

neil.josten: i'll stay with matt for like 4 hours

thebetterminyard: bring my shirt back

exyandhennessy: IS THIS AN AFFAIR???

thebetterminyard: don't make me puke

neil.josten: i don't have your shirt????

thebetterminyard: the one you're wearing right now

neil.josten: this is andrews

aminyard: i took it from aaron

neil.josten: AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME

thebetterminyard: actually keep it

aminyard: this is funny

cattybitch: this is fucking hilarious

datboyd: someone tell TMZ so they can start a story about aaron and neil

exyandhennessy: neil josten, striker for the foxes, caught up in a shocking affair: seeing his boyfriends BROTHER

aminyard: i'll tell E news

thebetterminyard: some people just want to watch the world burn

aminyard: there's a room where the light won't find you

thebetterminyard: what

datboyd: holding hands while the walls come tumbling down

aminyard: when they do i'll be right behind you

imcatholicnotdead: what's happening

datboyd: so glad we've almost made it

aminyard: so sad we had to fade it

datboyd: everybody wants to rule the world

queenofexy: i turn my phone off for 2 hours

datboyd: we were trying to have a moment

aminyard: i was trying to have a moment. you ruined it

datboyd: so mean. but we had a moment

aminyard: no

queenofexy: moving on

queenofexy: why is your name trojean

trojean: jeremy

captainsunshine: guilty ;)

datboyd: jeremy no

captainsunshine: jeremy yes

trojean: jeremy no

captainsunshine: jeremy no

trojean: :)

queenofexy: christ

trojean: ur just jealous

queenofexy: first of all

cattybitch: HES GONNA START LECTURING DUCK AND COVER

neil.josten: EVACUATE THE BUILDING

thebetterminyard: HIDE IN A TREE

aminyard: dramatic

queenofexy: which one of us sits on a rooftop and smokes while dramatically staring at the sunset

neil.josten: he's right

trojean: and i thought i was dramatic

aminyard: i'm better than you

trojean: fight me

captainsunshine: no fighting omg let's settle this with cake like men

aminyard: i like cake

trojean: as long as it's chocolate

aminyard: yes. none of that vanilla bullshit

trojean: all chocolate. no yellow

aminyard: you're not that bad

neil.josten: gasp

neil.josten: peace in the kingdom

trojean: shut up josten

aminyard: go away neil

neil.josten: discrimination

aminyard: is this racism

neil.josten: yes

trojean: i'm a horrible white person

trojean: wait but if i was racist then i'd be a normal white person

imcatholicnotdead: u right

neil.josten: one time i referred to myself as part asian and someone told me india isn't part of asia

aminyard: there are two things wrong with that statement

neil.josten: i am not indian!!!!!!!! boi i love my indian fam way over there but ppl assuming i'm indian is like no u do realize pakistan exists too right like pls. think. check urself

aminyard: i like pakistan they have nice trees

thebetterminyard: andrew wtf

neil.josten: he's right. northern pakistan has really nice forests

thebetterminyard: did u guys know the national language of pakistan is urdu, while its official language is english

neil.josten: how do u know that

thebetterminyard: i'm looking up interesting facts about pakistan

thebetterminyard: ur national fruit is mango?

neil.josten: yes. i like mangoes

neil.josten: does it tell u the national flower?????

thebetterminyard: jasmine?

neil.josten: fav. it smells so nice

exyandhennessy: i'm buying u some

datboyd: is jasmine perfume a thing i'm gonna find it

queenofexy: pakistan and ireland are like somewhat friends. their trade was good from 2004-2007

neil.josten: they're peaceful. pakistans bigger allies w china and they're becoming better friends w russia

queenofexy: fucking russia and fucking victor nikiforov

aminyard: who

cattybitch: YURI ON ICE

thebetterminyard: anime

aminyard: weeb

neil.josten: fav!!!!!! i like otabek

cattybitch: bc he's like andrew

neil.josten: go away

aminyard: let me see

cattybitch: attachedimage.jpg

aminyard: he's attractive

neil.josten: actual fav

datboyd: i like yuri

exyandhennessy: i like leo

cattybitch: victor is my fav

imcatholicnotdead: yuuri is mine

thebetterminyard: yuri

neil.josten: otabek!!!

aminyard: no one

queenofexy: georgi

cattybitch: he was a sk8r boi she said c u l8r boi

queenofexy: fav

aminyard: did everyone turn into a weeb overnight

neil.josten: kevin's fault

queenofexy: leave me alone

trojean: hi we were getting lunch what happened

trojean: never mind i didnt want to know

cattybitch: omg

captainsunshine: I LOVE YUURI

cattybitch: ONE OF US

exyandhennessy: ONE OF US

datboyd: ONE OF US

imcatholicnotdead: ONE OF US

captainsunshine: yay!!!!!!!!!

doesnickyisgay: wtf what did i miss

doesnickyisgay: SO APPARENTLY I MISSED EVERYTHING GODDAMNIT MINYARDS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello i got rid of my block are u guys proud of me. i took trojean from this so all credit to this lovely person!!!!  
> ok goodbye guys come talk 2 me on my tumblr!!


	5. beef on the side™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the twinyards are goals, jerejean continue to be pure and andrew is done with matt and his bullshit

neil.josten: guys

neil.josten: GUYS

doesnickyisgay: my child

datboyd: he's my son back off

exyandhennessy: we're his parents

neil.josten: i thought wymack was my dad

queenofexy: i don't want you as a brother

neil.josten: ditto. but G UYS

trojean: what do u want

neil.josten: andrew dyed his hair light blue

thebetterminyard: what

trojean: what

datboyd: what

cattybitch: what

exyandhennessy: what

doesnickyisgay: what????

queenofexy: WHAT

captainsunshine: that sounds super cute!!!!!

imcatholicnotdead: i helped

aminyard: attachedimage.jpg

cattybitch: is that the flowercrown filter?????

doesnickyisgay: is that a fuckign selfie???????????

( _private message: aminyard and thebetterminyard_

thebetterminyard: what if i dyed my hair purple

aminyard: i don't care

aminyard: lilac

thebetterminyard: okay )

thebetterminyard: should i dye my hair purple

aminyard: yes

doesnickyisgay: whats HAPPE NIN G

queenofexy: guys are you sure this is a good idea

thebetterminyard: if you say anything about it not looking professional im going to replace that stick up your ass with a knife

queenofexy: jesus christ

imcatholicnotdead: is amazing ! aaron come to my room

thebetterminyard: im in class

imcatholicnotdead: is it important

thebetterminyard: no. i just left. where r u

imcatholicnotdead: in my bathroom come over here

thebetterminyard: omw

  
-

  
doesnickyisgay: attachedimage.jpg

doesnickyisgay: LOOK AT THEM THEYRE SO CUTE

aminyard: no

thebetterminyard: get out

datboyd: an excellent movie

datboyd: but holy shit u guys look Soft

doesnickyisgay: they r

aminyard: y

thebetterminyard: stop

neil.josten: aaron ur hair looks nice

thebetterminyard: thank u

exyandhennessy: MY CHILD

neil.josten: but i'm your son and if aaron is your son then andrew is your son so this won't work out

cattybitch: renee and i will adopt the twins

aminyard: aaron and i would rather die

imcatholicnotdead: :(

thebetterminyard: no i like renee. and allison has stabby

aminyard: you have a point

thebetterminyard: stabbys with me and andrew btw

queenofexy: maybe you guys can wear wigs

aminyard: shut the fuck up

captainsunshine: hi sorry jean and i took a nap guys u look adorable

thebetterminyard: thank u

trojean: very nice and just in time for spring

aminyard: rt

neil.josten: andrew

aminyard: what

neil.josten: u look pretty

datboyd: JJSJEKWNWBDJEBW

doesnickyisgay: OFJENWJWBWKWFH

aminyard: thats gay

neil.josten: i'm gay for u

aminyard: shut your mouth

neil.josten: make me

thebetterminyard: die both of you

neil.josten: ur a shit

thebetterminyard: thx

trojean: where's napoleon

captainsunshine: i think laila took him

captainsunshine: do u need him? i'll go get him

trojean: merci beaucoup

captainsunshine: de rien <3

aminyard: that's gay

-

  
datboyd: andrew i have a question for u

aminyard: what

datboyd: ur so small how are u ripped

aminyard: do you want a knife up the ass

datboyd: BUT IM FOR SERIOUS

thebetterminyard: "for serious"

datboyd: aaron. ur beef

thebetterminyard: thx????

datboyd: andrew. ur extra beef. ur beef on the side

trojean: beef on the sicje

captainsunshine: he's losing it

thebetterminyard: i'm changing your contact name to beef on the side

exyandhennessy: JALAJDHSJWND

cattybitch: oh my goooodhejebwe

imcatholicnotdead: "one new message from extra beef on the side"

aminyard: fuck all of you

_doesnickyisgay renamed the conversation "andrew is extra beef™"._

_aminyard has left the conversation._

_neil.josten added aminyard to the conversation._

aminyard: let me die

neil.josten: i'd miss u

neil.josten: mon petit bœuf sur le côté

trojean: mon dieu

trojean: nansnskalakhre

_aminyard has left the conversation._

_thebetterminyard has left the conversation._

_datboyd added thebetterminyard to the conversation._

_datboyd added aminyard to the conversation._

queenofexy: this is amusing

thebetterminyard: i thought you needed a soul to feel any emotion

queenofexy: look who's talking

thebetterminyard: at least i know that waking people up at 5 in the morning on new years isn't socially acceptable

queenofexy: how else will you learn

cattybitch: maybe all of you should start wearing heels to improve your balance

queenofexy: that's not a bad idea but...???

cattybitch: oh yes bc i got these really cute heels with bows on them!!

cattybitch: attachedimage.jpg

exyandhennessy: DAMN GIRL THOSE ARE CUTE AF

imcatholicnotdead: CAN I BORROW THOSE!!!!!!!

cattybitch: YES

thebetterminyard: how do you walk in those wouldn't you fall on your ass

cattybitch: they're like 6 inches that's not bad. u should wear them u can finally be a big boy

thebetterminyard: i'm not wearing heels

cattybitch: why. can ur masculinity not handle it? ur maleness would only be compromised if it wasn't secure in the first place

thebetterminyard: give me the goddamn heels

doesnickyisgay: 1) allison i love u and 2) aaron omg

thebetterminyard: my feet hurt

doesnickyisgay: attachedimage.jpg

datboyd: CONTEXT

neil.josten: andrew u look angry

aminyard: bc there's an idiot on my arm

thebetterminyard: fuck you you try walking in these

doesnickyisgay: aaron's dumb white ass tried to run in them and fell so andrew caught him and now he's not letting go of andrews arm

exyandhennessy: HIS DUMB WHITE ASS

thebetterminyard: i feel Oppressed

queenofexy: get over it

thebetterminyard: josten before you say shit he's letting me

thebetterminyard: wow

aminyard: can confirm

trojean: are you both texting while holding on to each other

thebetterminyard: yes

aminyard: yes

doesnickyisgay: yes

neil.josten: i'm texting katelyn

thebetterminyard: don't

neil.josten: i'm doing it

thebetterminyard: josten will you fucking do what i ask for once just don't

doesnickyisgay: aaron wtf

neil.josten: okay. sorry

  
-

 

( _private message: thebetterminyard and queenofexy_  

thebetterminyard: can i join your night practices with andrew and neil?

queenofexy: whats wrong

thebetterminyard: nothings wrong. why would anything be wrong

queenofexy: you don't like exy and detest practice

thebetterminyard: stuff with katelyn just isn't the best right now. i just want a distraction thats healthy

queenofexy: okay i'll come to your room

thebetterminyard: thanks

queenofexy: i'm not good at advice or shit but i'm here if you need to talk or something

thebetterminyard: wow

thebetterminyard: that was a dick response sorry. i don't like to talk about my problems but i'll consider it. thanks

queenofexy: no problem )

  
-

  
_imcatholicnotdead has changed their name to dontcrossme._

dontcrossme: see it's a pun

dontcrossme: am i funny

dontcrossme: validate me

cattybitch: RENEE I LOVE U

dontcrossme: :')

aminyard: very original

thebetterminyard: nice

thebetterminyard: neil. sorry for yelling at you

neil.josten: its fine shit happens i get it

thebetterminyard: thanks

thebetterminyard: i get to pick what we watch for movie night

thebetterminyard: also you broke rule one

neil.josten: FUCKS SAKES

exyandhennessy: u know the rule, no picking the movie the night of

aminyard: what movie

thebetterminyard: lilo and stitch

neil.josten: what's that

datboyd: we can overlook the rule this once

exyandhennessy: oh honey

doesnickyisgay: </3

captainsunshine: you haven't seen lilo and stitch??? :((

trojean: what's that

captainsunshine: what the shit

captainsunshine: we need to have our own movie night

dontcrossme: lilo and stitch is such a good movie

thebetterminyard: it's my favorite

aminyard: can confirm

thebetterminyard: how have you never seen lilo and stitch

thebetterminyard: don't answer that you haven't seen star wars

captainsunshine: neil what????

trojean: what the hell

datboyd: i bet 40 he'll like the prequels

aminyard: jar jar binks was a sith lord

cattybitch: i love you

aminyard: i dont

cattybitch: love me or love yourself

aminyard: both

neil.josten: excuse me

doesnickyisgay: i like where this is going

captainsunshine: omg

neil.josten: hate allison all you want

cattybitch: WOW

neil.josten: but don't hate yourself. you're special

aminyard: i hate you.

neil.josten: i don't hate you

neil.josten: we're literally married with 2 cats

aminyard: you're 21

neil.josten: what does my age have to do with this

aminyard: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

neil.josten: DON'T USE THAT WITH ME

thebetterminyard: i like this one ಠ_ಠ

queenofexy: i like this (￣ｍ￣〃)

doesnickyisgay: are we just ignoring what happened

neil.josten: i have news

aminyard: are you knocked up?

neil.josten: yep 4 weeks. it's yours and i'm keeping it

thebetterminyard: disturbing

dontcrossme: neil's sudden pregnancy or children

thebetterminyard: children. why are they so small

trojean: you're one to talk

thebetterminyard:(ง •̀_•́)ง

thebetterminyard: attachedimage.jpg

thebetterminyard: allison help

cattybitch: let go of my dog kevin

queenofexy: no

queenofexy: i love her

thebetterminyard: i want the dog

neil.josten: what have i done

captainsunshine: kevin do u want to see napoleon

queenofexy: yes

trojean: attachedimage.jpg

captainsunshine: attachedimage.jpg

trojean: omg

captainsunshine: omg

queenofexy: good job you sent the same picture

queenofexy: i want that dog

thebetterminyard: then go to california and leave stabby alone

doesnickyisgay: i cant believe ali named her stabby. the vixens love her

cattybitch: as they should

datboyd: what if i bought a large snake

neil.josten: we already have kevin

exyandhennessy: DAMN SON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate myself omg but hello friends hope u liked this chapter check out [my tumblr](http://neptcnes.tumblr.com/) n be my friend!!!


	6. it's getting gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which it gets gay, neil is uncultured, allisons onto something and jean is ready for a fight

neil.josten: i never got to share my news

trojean: what do you want

neil.josten: i like c3po that's all

datboyd: WHAT

trojean: i did my job

datboyd: excuse me?????

aminyard: what

captainsunshine: neil watched star wars with us!

datboyd: HOW

trojean: rabbit

neil.josten: i also like darth vader

thebetterminyard: darth vader deserved better

_doesnickyisgay renamed the conversation "the star whore's droids."_

_trojean has left the conversation._

_aminyard has left the conversation._

_thebetterminyard has left the conversation._

_captainsunshine added trojean to the conversation._

_neil.josten added aminyard to the conversation._

_queenofexy added thebetterminyard to the conversation._

cattybitch: interesting

thebetterminyard: let me leave

dontcrossme: no escape

doesnickyisgay: :((

thebetterminyard: don't give me that shit

doesnickyisgay: ur mean

thebetterminyard: this is news to no one

thebetterminyard: which asshole added me back

cattybitch: kevin

thebetterminyard: why

queenofexy: if we have to suffer so do you

thebetterminyard: i hate u

queenofexy: thx

doesnickyisgay: why don't u like the name

doesnickyisgay: im funny

doesnickyisgay: plz

thebetterminyard: no

trojean: i do love star wars but i prefer star trek

datboyd: dude. why

trojean: bc

neil.josten: what's star trek

aminyard: i want a divorce

thebetterminyard: why did you marry him.

aminyard: idk

aminyard: the cats

thebetterminyard: your husband is dumb

aminyard: yes

thebetterminyard: don't agree with me andrew it makes me very uncomfortable

trojean: i want coffee

captainsunshine: omw

trojean: bean me up scotty

aminyard: omg

dontcrossme: jean u r best boi

captainsunshine: rt!!!

dontcrossme: UHURA IS A LESBIAN

trojean: :')

queenofexy: i want to know why bones was always on the bridge when he's medical personnel

neil.josten: i have no idea what's going on rn

_doesnickyisgay renamed the conversation "chekov deserved better 2k17."_

exyandhennessy: rt

trojean: rt

aminyard: rt

doesnickyisgay: this gc is dying tbh

doesnickyisgay: this family is falling apart

doesnickyisgay: kevin get back here and fix it

queenofexy: why me

doesnickyisgay: because

exyandhennessy: bc ur the queen

queenofexy: i hate u

-

cattybitch: where the fuck did everyone go

queenofexy: what do you mean we're all here

cattybitch: we haven't talked in like 2 months

trojean: probably because molia is what the kids call depressed and had no motivation to continue but loves everyone who reads this and is back now and is trying to get her motivation back but it's a bad idea because she's got exams in like 2 days

neil.josten: what

aminyard: who's molia

trojean: nothing. and no one

thebetterminyard: allison it's been like 2 hours chill

cattybitch: i swear it's been 2 months

aminyard: she's going crazy

dontcrossme: fight fight fight

cattybitch: i am your girlfriend

aminyard: i am your best friend

dontcrossme: ...don't fight don't fight don't fight

datboyd: damn and i had my popcorn out too

trojean: i wanted a fight

captainsunshine: alvarez is screaming at robinson in the halls if u want a fight

trojean: YES. ILL BE BACK

captainsunshine: au revoir!

doesnickyisgay: ¡adios!

_neil.josten has changed their name to neiljortsten._

neiljortsten: that was matt

neiljortsten: i don't get it

exyandhennessy: oh honey

queenofexy: jesus christ

dontcrossme: is amazing !

queenofexy: will you stop that

dontcrossme: no

trojean: i beat up robinson

captainsunshine: why

neiljortsten: what'd he do and who even is he

trojean: plays some other sport i didn't care enough to find out which one. he was being rly racist to alvarez so i punched him. a lot

aminyard: kill him

trojean: i would if i could

thebetterminyard: i'll do it

aninyard: no

  
-

  
aminyard: who the fuck left a kpop magazine on my bed

thebetterminyard: wtf

thebetterminyard: racism

doesnickyisgay: i did. and andrew that's not kpop that's u. remember the photoshoot u were forced to do

aminyard: oh

queenofexy: sxnsnsAKSNEKE

thebetterminyard: how in the hell did you not recognize your own face

aminyard: bc they put eyeliner on me

neiljortsten: i liked it

doesnickyisgay: my young gays

neiljortsten: im demi not gay

doesnickyisgay: but ur gay for andrew

neiljortsten: u got me there

aminyard: u used the meme

neiljortsten: i like memes

datboyd: they grow up so fast

cattybitch: hi assholes i have petit fours

trojean: tellement délicieux

aminyard: what's that

thebetterminyard: did u bring chocolate ones?

cattybitch: small french cakes. yes extra chocolate for andrew

aminyard: i didn't ask for them

cattybitch: i didn't ask for your opinion. renee and i are your mothers now

aminyard: i don't like you

cattybitch: no petit fours for you

aminyard: i tolerate you

cattybitch: i thought so

neiljortsten: :') this makes me happy

aminyard: shut up i hate u

neiljortsten: i hate u too <3

aminyard: ...........

doesnickyisgay: i take it that's not the response he was expecting

trojean: can you mail some to california

captainsunshine: yes!!!! wait i'm gonna try and find some here

queenofexy: don't eat a lot or you'll have to work off the calories

thebetterminyard: shut up kevin

queenofexy: make me

trojean: intéressant

exyandhennessy: we don't all speak french here honey

trojean: it's a cognate u should be able to know what it means unless ur really dumb

exyandhennessy: fight me frenchie

trojean: no thx i already fought robinson

exyandhennessy: blatant sexism and racism

trojean: no u could kill me with 1 finger

datboyd: DAMN STR8

doesnickyisgay: UNLIKE ME

aminyard: im gay

doesnickyisgay: me too

dontcrossme: me three

cattybitch: home of sexuals

thebetterminyard: is this a groupchat or a support group?

dontcrossme: both

_doesnickyisgay renamed the conversation "home of sexual support group"_

thebetterminyard: oh. me four

neiljortsten: I KNEW IT. PAY UP JEAN

queenofexy: that's a recent development

doesnickyisgay: WHSUEJW WHA T

aminyard: what the fuck

datboyd: IM PROUD OF U LIL DUDE

thebetterminyard: thanks matt. and idk guys i was like hey that guy isn't ugly i'd hold his hand and then i was like excuse me

cattybitch: "i'd hold his hand" HONEY THATS SO PURE

dontcrossme: your mother and i are so proud!!!!!!!

cattybitch: so who was this not ugly guy

thebetterminyard: no

dontcrossme: plz

aminyard: leave him alone

exyandhennessy: kid im proud af. do u know what u are or do u prefer not to have a label?

thebetterminyard: i think im pan

trojean: aaron that's great. si fier!

captainsunshine: bro that's amazing!!!!!

trojean: if ur pan u'll be like molia

neiljortsten: for fucks sakes who is molia

trojean: no one. also ur not getting that money

neiljortsten: u white devil

exyandhennessy: neil oh my god

thebetterminyard: is this an aaron minyard support group

doesnickyisgay: yes

_doesnickyisgay renamed the conversation "aaron minyard support groupchat"_

queenofexy: congrats aaron on ur sexuality crisis being solved ( _message sent with confetti_ )

cattybitch: kevin that was cute

queenofexy: im a manly man

cattybitch: ok queen kevin

thebetterminyard: thanks kev

queenofexy: yeah anytime

( private message: _cattybitch, exyandhennessy, dontcrossme_

cattybitch: I TOLD YOU SOMETHINGS UP

exyandhennessy: i still think you're jumping to conclusions

dontcrossme: i'm somewhere in the middle here

cattybitch: but isn't it a little suspicious??? kevin and aaron start being nice(r) to each other and then aaron comes out again and then calls kevin "kev" and kevin responds with "anytime"???? look i see something going on here

dontcrossme: or they could be coincidental. if they aren't, then that'll be interesting but i'm having a hard time imagining kevin and aaron together

exyandhennessy: i second that. just yesterday kevin put aarons favorite mug on the top shelf to piss him off

cattybitch: what if it had a secret hidden message

dontcrossme: and that would be?

cattybitch: "im gay let's bone"

exyandhennessy: how about: no!!!!

dontcrossme: no

exyandhennessy: i just feel like ur reaching here

cattybitch: i'm right. u'll see. also i'm the queen of reaching)

aminyard: welcome to the gay

thebetterminyard: thx do i get free food

aminyard: i'll give you a dumb cat

thebetterminyard: no i want stabby

neiljortsten: where is she anyway

cattybitch: with me

cattybitch: attachedimage.jpg

cattybitch: fight me

thebetterminyard: can i borrow her for some quick therapy

cattybitch: yes

queenofexy: stop fucking texting and get to practice

captainsunshine: kevin that's not nice :((

queenofexy: they are 30 minutes late

captainsunshine: MOVE YOUR ASSES GET TO PRACTICE

trojean: nerds

( private message: _queenofexy and thebetterminyard_

queenofexy: how are you doing?

thebetterminyard: idk. sorta overwhelmed i guess i keep getting freaked out when everyone's so nice

queenofexy: i get it

thebetterminyard: thanks for checking up on me every once in a while. you don't have to

queenofexy: you're welcome. and i know

queenofexy: you want to talk about your problems in person later?

thebetterminyard: okay. coffee?

queenofexy: starbucks at 6

thebetterminyard: okay )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I AM SO SORRY I TOTALLY LOST ALL INSPIRATION AND THEN SCHOOL HAPPENED IM SO SORRY PLZ LOVE ME AND MY FIC!!! also i've changed my mind about andrew and aaron, i found a fancast i love so andrew and aaron are korean k thx bye!!  
> come talk to me on my [tumblr!!!](http://neptcnes.tumblr.com)


	7. neil tries and we love him for it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which allison fucks up, andrew lowkey exposes himself and retired memes pop up bc molia is the worst and neil still doesn’t know who she is

neiljortsten: my shower is screaming at me

thebetterminyard: what beauty and the beast bullshit is this  
( _sent with slam effect_ )

doesnickyisgay: jesus christ aaron

aminyard: you're all dumb  
( _sent with invisible ink effect_ )

neiljortsten: this is heartwarming but my shower is screaming at me

trojean: tell it to stop

neiljortsten: will that work

trojean: yes. ask it nicely

neiljortsten: you annoy me

aminyard: he annoys me too

neiljortsten: aw

exyandhennessy: this is gay

doesnickyisgay: for once we're all gay!!!!

thebetterminyard: oh yeah i'm pan i forgot

trojean: how can you forget you're pan

aminyard: rule 2 of this hell gc: you do not forget you're gay. we die like men

thebetterminyard: but what if i have amnesia

aminyard: then you die like a man

exyandhennessy: that's sexist

aminyard: then you die like a woman

exyandhennessy: that sounds condescending but that also could be bc so many men have said "you do this like a girl" to me

aminyard: punch them in the face like a girl. then maybe they could learn something

exyandhennessy: thanks dude

cattybitch: my son

aminyard: i am not your son

dontcrossme: i am your father

neiljortsten: ...

datboyd: i'll fox your shower give me like 5 mins

neiljortsten: thank u

neiljortsten: you said fox i think you meant fix

datboyd: i said what i said neil

doesnickyisgay: i can't believe halloween is almost here

trojean: yeah molia should've posted this a while ago. like 4 months ago

trojean: she's no one

neiljortsten: one day you're going to tell me who molia is

trojean: no

trojean: jeremy

captainsunshine: jean

trojean: :)

captainsunshine: <3

thebetterminyard: that was gay

datboyd: that was beautiful

datboyd: hey kevin

datboyd: kevin

_datboyd renamed the conversation "kevin get back here im not done with you"._

queenofexy: what do you want i'm doing something

aminyard: what are you doing

( _private message: cattybitch, exyandhennessy, dontcrossme_

cattybitch: he's doing your brother andrew

exyandhennessy: GIRL YOU GOTTA STOP

dontcrossme: ali for fucks sakes give it up already

cattybitch: i'm right about this i swear. and you'll all be sorry

cattybitch: except you renee i love you

dontcrossme: i love you too <3

exyandhennessy: gr8 thx )

queenofexy: drinking my sorrows away

aminyard: without me

queenofexy: i don't like you

aminyard: i don't like you

thebetterminyard: i don't like either of you

( _private message: cattybitch, exyandhennessy, dontcrossme_

exyandhennessy: don't start

cattybitch: ugh dan stop ruining my declarations

exyandhennessy: stop being dumb )

aminyard: thats a lie

cattybitch: !!!!! I KNEW IT

thebetterminyard: what

cattybitch: f uck

cattybitch: wrong gc

( _private message: cattybitch, exyandhennessy, dontcrossme_

exyandhennessy: oh my god ALLISON

cattybitch: I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP I NEARLY RUINED EVERYTHING SHIT )

aminyard: anyway

aminyard: you don't hate me

thebetterminyard: excuse me

thebetterminyard: that's a reach

aminyard: attachedimage.jpg

aminyard: example a: aaron hugging me at age 17

thebetterminyard: why do you still have that

aminyard: why do you think

aminyard: attachedimage.jpg

aminyard: example b: aaron incredibly drunk and telling me he doesn't mind me

thebetterminyard: oKAY WE GET IT

doesnickyisgay: wtf let him continue

thebetterminyard: absolutely not

cattybitch: you would not believe your eyes

cattybitch: IF TEN MILLION FIREFLIES  
( _sent with slam effect_ )

dontcrossme: ALI THIS IS SO RETIRED

( _private message: captainsunshine and trojean:_

trojean: that’s because molia wrote this a hella long time ago and this is full of retired memes

captainsunshine: good thing you texted this to me, neil would’ve killed you

trojean: i love you to much to risk leaving you

captainsunshine: MON CHOU )

neiljortsten: how would you get that many fireflies?

cattybitch: you are so innocent

neiljortsten: did you forget my life story or

cattybitch: when it comes to these things you are a baby and i love you

neiljortsten: i love you too

neiljortsten: what's a justice league

doesnickyisgay: NEIL

neiljortsten: ?????

thebetterminyard: josten oh my god

aminyard: all i remember from that damn show is green lantern

datboyd: ME TOO WTF

captainsunshine: jean never watched it :((

captainsunshine: jean we have to. neil do u want to rabbit with us?

queenofexy: no. he's watching it with the foxes or not at all

queenofexy: no offense meant

captainsunshine: none taken!!!!! jl is so important to our culture

neiljortsten: will someone explain

doesnickyisgay: oh honey

doesnickyisgay: do you know batman?

neiljortsten: yes he's some rich guy who puts on a bat costume and punches criminals in the face for a living

exyandhennessy: he's not wrong

doesnickyisgay: respect. okay do you know superman and wonder woman

neiljortsten: yes

dontcrossme: please don't list everyone in the league that'll take FOREVER

doesnickyisgay: i wasn't going to!!!!

doesnickyisgay: basically it's those 3 plus 3 more in the upcoming movie but the actual justice league which is from the comics is filled with a lot of superheroes. u should read them

thebetterminyard: i have some you can borrow them but if you get a single crumb or scratch on any of them i will hunt you down and kill you

aminyard: objection

thebetterminyard: can i kill him if he ruins my comics

aminyard: yes

thebetterminyard: with andrews permission, if you get a single crumb or scratch on any of them i will hunt you down and kill you

neiljortsten: jeez okay

dontcrossme: i love the dceu :') it gave us wonder woman

cattybitch: give wonder woman a girlfriend

datboyd: rt

captainsunshine: rt

trojean: what's a batman

captainsunshine: JEAN

trojean: IM KIDDING

captainsunshine: i nearly had an aneurism oh my god

queenofexy: moreau stop being an asshole

trojean: which one of us didn't know who batman was until age 16

queenofexy: i didn't ask for this

thebetterminyard: .......why

trojean: i have so much blackmail. test me and you will fail

thebetterminyard: i can't associate with you anymore

cattybitch: you barely associate with him as is

thebetterminyard: well that small bit of association isn't happening anymore

aminyard: i support this

neiljortsten: why are we all bullying kevin

neiljortsten: not that i'm complaining

queenofexy: i hate you. i really do

exyandhennessy: i have chili peppers on my leggings

trojean: why

datboyd: bc she's spicy

neiljortsten: she's not a food???

datboyd: neil man i love you but please learn how to talk like you're from 2017

exyandhennessy: rt. but also bc they symbolize how i'm too hot to handle

aminyard: no hetero but that sounds fake. nothing is too spicy

exyandhennessy: "no hetero"

aminyard: i'm not straight. do not make the mistake of confusing me with aaron one year ago

thebetterminyard: oh wow thanks

neiljortsten: lit

datboyd: you tried and i'm proud of you

neiljortsten: thanks dad

neiljortsten: i mean matt

datboyd: SON :’)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this 4 months ago and i just found it and it’s a bit shorter but i feel so bad for keeping u guys waiting ( if y’all are somehow still here ) that i decided to post it ( with some obvious edits ) i’m SORRY i LOVE all of you


	8. happy halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang has fun with costumes plans, andrew doesn’t trust kevaaron’s sudden friendship and nicky _really_ fucks up.

neiljortsten: dab on the haters

aminyard: that’s it

aminyard: get out

aminyard: if i ever see you again i’m killing you

queenofexy: neil i am begging you please stop trying

captainsunshine: omg neil no that’s v old and cringy now

neiljortsten: :((

neiljortsten: first you guys want me to be cultured but when i try you’re assholes

aminyard: fuck you both only i’m allowed to say shit to him

neiljortsten: :)

aminyard: turn that smile upside down. i’m still mad at you

neiljortsten: :))

aminyard: i’ll kill you

thebetterminyard: your flirting sickens me

datboyd: neil...............

neiljortsten: you’re only supposed to use 3

datboyd: Wat

neiljortsten: you use 3. not 15

datboyd: u nerd did u actually count them

datboyd: i love this kid

_datboyd has changed their name to chefBOYDardee._

exyandhennessy: that was highly unnecessary

_exyandhennessy has changed their name to wonderwilds._

chefBOYDardee: i think it’s perfectly necessary

dontcrossme: wonderwilds is such a good name

wonderwilds: blessings only

doesnickyisgay: gUYS what are we all being for halloween??????

wonderwilds: wonder woman!

chefBOYDardee: i want to be chef boyardee but dan won’t let me

aminyard: that’s because some of us have some self respect and don’t want to be seen with you

chefBOYDardee: on halloween or in general

aminyard: yes

trojean: minyard you should be batman. i want to see the dark knight as a 5’0 tall half korean man

thebetterminyard: we don’t acknowledge our white side moreau

aminyard: idk what white people are

_aminyard renamed the conversation “stickball fuckers again caucasians”._

queenofexy: don’t do this to me

cattybitch: i’m white

dontcrossme: and we still love you

cattybitch: :’)

cattybitch: dan if you’re being ww i should be catwoman

neiljortsten: who’s that

_aminyard has removed neiljortsten from the conversation._

_queenofexy has added neiljortsten to the conversation._

neiljortsten: so rude. thanks kevin that was nice

queenofexy: i need you here so i don’t have to text multiple people telling them their techniques are getting sloppy

neiljortsten: never mind i want to punch you in the face again

thebetterminyard: kev chill

( _private message: wonderwilds, cattybitch, dontcrossme_

wonderwilds: hold up

cattybitch: I FUCKING TOLD YOU SHDBDJDB

dontcrossme: no one?? tells kevin to chill????? and he called him kev again?????

dontcrossme: i don’t understand

dontcrossme: wait omg so ali might be right

cattybitch: ! ! ! ! !

wonderwilds: this is so weird to think about what the fuck

dontcrossme: I CAN IMAGINE THIS AND ITS CUTE

wonderwilds: wait guys if ali’s right. what will andrew do

cattybitch: kevin day is going to kevin die )

queenofexy: you’re getting sloppy too

thebetterminyard: oh am i now

thebetterminyard: you’re such an asshole

queenofexy: you weren’t complaining the other day

aminyard: what

( _private message_ : _aminyard, thebetterminyard_

aminyard: what the fuck was that. why are you two suddenly friendly

thebetterminyard: you don’t have to know everything you know

aminyard: so something happened. i’m going to kill him

thebetterminyard: but that would make people think you care about me

aminyard: are you fucking serious right now. i’ll kill you too

thebetterminyard: i’m kidding. it’s a joke. a thing people do to be funny

aminyard: i hate you

thebetterminyard: you too. does that mean i can live

aminyard: maybe )

thebetterminyard: Anyway where’s stabby? i want a hug

queenofexy: with me

queenofexy: i can bring her over

thebetterminyard: it’s fine i’ll come get her

cattybitch: why do i never get to see my own dog what is this

captainsunshine: hes your team mascot! we never get to see napoleon these days

trojean: and kevin loves animals

trojean: must be why he’s obsessed with himself

chefBOYDardee: HSBSVDJD JEAN

queenofexy: i fucking hate you

captainsunshine: babe omg

captainsunshine: jean is so vicious i love a ( singular ) man

queenofexy: why do you put up with this

captainsunshine: he makes me very happy :’)

thebetterminyard: he just sighed really loudly

captainsunshine: does this gc do venting about white people

doesnickyisgay: not usually! but we do Encourage it

captainsunshine: ok bc this latino boy is fed up

trojean: :( let it out

captainsunshine: it just?? pisses me off to no end??? basically white people just love dressing up as sugar skulls like the day of the dead ones. but that’s literally my culture that they’re making into a costume and i hate it so much >:((

doesnickyisgay: 1) your emoticon useage is adorable 2) yeah i get that 100% like uhhh this is ours, not something for you to put on your face for one night so your friends can compliment your makeup skills

captainsunshine: exactly!!!!!!!!

trojean: kill every white person you see as a sugar skull

neiljortsten: i second that. and i feel u too man when i go to get halloween costumes i see sarees and stuff as costumes and it makes me really mad

thebetterminyard: kpop fans are cool but then there are the ones who are insane and fetishize us and it’s rly bad

thebetterminyard: we’ve got your back. but i second what jean said

captainsunshine: thank u guys sm :’)

wonderwilds: boi i fuckin feel that on a spiritual level, white people taking “ghetto styles” and acting like they made it up and i’ve been seeing them do it with latina girls too and it’s so bad

captainsunshine: can’t they just come up with their own without taking ours

cattybitch: White People are the actual worst and i hate them

trojean: ^^^^^^

captainsunshine: truuuuuu

captainsunshine: back to halloween costumes

trojean: i lost a bet to alvarez so i have to be a vampire

captainsunshine: i’ll be ur werewolf bf

trojean: <33333333

aminyard: gay. i’m going to be batman i’ve decided

thebetterminyard: that’s going to be so fucking funny

thebetterminyard: idk what i’m going to be

dontcrossme: i wanna be a mermaid

dontcrossme: it’s ok ali catwoman can have a mermaid gf

cattybitch: i believe it

doesnickyisgay: WAIT i’m gonna be dionysius

thebetterminyard: it fits u

neiljortsten: idk what i’m going to be either

neiljortsten: aaron do you want to match

thebetterminyard: ....why

neiljortsten: i’m trying to be a friend

thebetterminyard: do you mean “i’m trying to be a good friend”

neiljortsten: no

doesnickyisgay: om g

thebetterminyard: oh

thebetterminyard: idk what to be tho

queenofexy: sherlock and watson

neiljortsten: who

aminyard: the antisocial detective and his friend but not the bbc version because that’s a piece of shit that makes me want to jump off a cliff

thebetterminyard: 1) i’m down 2) andrew stop saying shit like that

aminyard: sorry

aminyard: who’s who

neiljortsten: i’m not a detective

wonderwilds: damn right you’re not. aaron you be sherlock and neil can be watson

neiljortsten: do i need my british accent?

chefBOYDardee: you have a british accent???????????????????

aminyard: yes

cattybitch: i bet andrew gets to hear it a lot ;))

thebetterminyard: that’s it no fucking british accent why do you people ruin everything

dontcrossme: i’m sorry aaron we love u

trojean: look at this team bonding

captainsunshine: i love all these ideas!!!!!

captainsunshine: not gonna lie i kinda wanted to be the human version of that vine where nickelback goes “look at this graph” but werewolf bf is better

trojean: i love you but why. why do you do this to me

wonderwilds: shhfhdhshe

chefBOYDardee: i think that’s a fantastic idea

chefBOYDardee: kevin do that

captainsunshine: yes plz i’ll pay good money to see that

trojean: i bet kevin’s going as an exy racquet

cattybitch: wymack and abby would kill him

queenofexy: i was going to be johanne the scammer but if you really insist

cattybitch: wE DONT INSIST WE DONT INSIST

captainsunshine: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thebetterminyard: jesus christ

wonderwilds: BOI NOT THAT IM FUCKING COMPLAINING BUT HOW DO U EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT

queenofexy: buzzfeed

chefBOYDardee: what were u doing on buzzfeed

neiljortsten: exy

aminyard: exy

queenofexy: exy

queenofexy: fuck off

doesnickyisgay: that was visual gold

queenofexy: this is harassment

aminyard: your voice harasses me daily by doing that thing it does

queenofexy: talking?

aminyard: talking to me

queenofexy: i swear to god

  
-

  
aminyard: humanity was a mistake.

thebetterminyard: thats a mood

captainsunshine: are u okay?

aminyard: these people wont stop TALKING

aminyard: how likely am i to go to jail if i murder 3 people in front of a large crowd. or the entire crowd

wonderwilds: pretty likely sorry buddy

doesnickyisgay: :((

doesnickyisgay: i’m proud of u

aminyard: for what

doesnickyisgay: for making an effort! especially with your special circumstances

dontcrossme: what circumstances?

chefBOYDardee: are you hurt????

doesnickyisgay: fuck wait guys i didn’t mean that

thebetterminyard: drew you don’t have to answer

neiljortsten: can you guys back the fuck off?

chefBOYDardee: we’re only trying to make sure he’s okay neil chill

( _private message: doesnickyisgay, aminyard_

doesnickyisgay: andrews i’m sorry i forgot i wasn’t texting you and aaron separately i fucked up im sorry

doesnickyisgay: andrew please

aminyard: don’t fucking say that word to me. you’re lucky i haven’t thrown you out of a window so stop talking to me if you know what’s good for you )

cattybitch: guys something’s obviously wrong here i think you need to back off a little neil’s right

aminyard: my “circumstance” is that i’m autistic

aminyard: there is a goddamn reason i haven’t told anyone besides my family so you will keep your mouths fucking shut. the only reason i’m saying anything is because you assholes would start betting on what’s wrong with me and drive neil insane or pester aaron and nicky and me to tell you

aminyard: dont fucking talk to me

_aminyard has left the conversation._

doesnickyisgay: i’m sorry i didn’t mean to i really didn’t

thebetterminyard: i know. but you really need to start thinking

( _private message: queenofexy, doesnickyisgay_

queenofexy: nicky what the actual fuck

doesnickyisgay: i don’t know i don’t know i didn’t mean to

queenofexy: you shouldn’t have done that. accident or not that was incredibly fucked up

queenofexy: i would tell you to fix this but i have a feeling i’m going to find blood on the walls if you try. once he calms down, you make this right

doesnickyisgay: i will i promise )

chefBOYDardee: did any of you besides aaron nicky and neil know?

cattybitch: does it matter?

wonderwilds: what do you mean

cattybitch: i mean it doesn’t matter he’s still andrew who cares if he is

thebetterminyard: neil, shut up

neiljortsten: i didn’t say anything

thebetterminyard: you were about to. allison i know what you’re trying to say but for gods sake don’t say it like that. you can’t just ignore it now that you know. obviously don’t treat him different but know that it IS something he struggles with and it does matter that he has autism because it’s a part of him

cattybitch: i’m sorry. that’s what i meant. it doesn’t matter that we know now, i know it changes things for him but what i’m trying to say is that he’s still andrew. he’s still our friend and we’re not going to treat him like a baby because of it

trojean: kevin and i knew

trojean: riko’s files covered every detail

chefBOYDardee: why does that not surprise me. anyway i just hope he’ll be okay

dontcrossme: i do too. nicky it might be best if you hang around me and allison right now. i don’t blame you i know you made a mistake but it would be better for andrew if he doesn’t see you for a bit

doesnickyisgay: i understand

doesnickyisgay: i’m gonna leave for a while

wonderwilds: stay safe

doesnickyisgay: thanks

_doesnickyisgay has left the conversation._

captainsunshine: i feel awful about this

trojean: i do too

thebetterminyard: give him a while to process this he’s not used to people knowing. he’s not uncomfortable with the autism itself he just doesn’t like having to explain himself

trojean: i understand that

neiljortsten: well this has been fucking eventful. think we should leave this for a while

cattybitch: agreed

( _private message: aminyard, neiljortsten, thebetterminyard_

thebetterminyard: i’m buying mint chocolate chip ice cream and i rented the empire strikes back on prime

thebetterminyard: “while you were being heterosexual i was studying the blade” that’s the entire plot of it right i saw that post on tumblr

aminyard: yeah

thebetterminyard: neil go get sour candy

neiljortsten: already on it

aminyard: i don’t need to be babied.

thebetterminyard: if i was babying you then you’d know. i just happen to be about to buy ice cream and have star wars

aminyard: fine

thebetterminyard: i kind of want to try swedish fish

aminyard: swedish fish are a disgrace. even the swedes don’t like them )

( _private message: queenofexy, thebetterminyard_

queenofexy: is he okay?

thebetterminyard: yeah he will be. neil and i are giving him candy and ice cream and star wars so he’ll feel better

queenofexy: it’s good that you and neil are getting along

thebetterminyard: ha

queenofexy: it’s nice that two of the people andrew cares about most are making an effort to like each other

thebetterminyard: i really hate when you have a point

queenofexy: you don’t hate me though

thebetterminyard: i know

queenofexy: i know you can’t see me tonight but i’ll miss you

thebetterminyard: yeah, you too

thebetterminyard: maybe in a few days?

queenofexy: sounds good

queenofexy: i’ll see you tomorrow. have fun with andrew and neil

thebetterminyard: have fun with exy )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii okay i know this is a really really heavy chapter so i want to apologize. i wanted to use my fic to talk about the cultural appropriation problem that arises during halloween and i figured that would be as bad as it got but then i got the idea for andrew. he’s not ashamed of having autism, he’s just very angry that he had to tell them without deciding it on his own. i hate hurting nicky but out of all of them, he’s the one who doesn’t think the most before he talks. i put in kevaaron at the end to make up for it. don’t worry andrew will be okay <3 and allison calling andrew her friend seems ooc i know but this takes place 2-3 years after the events of the kings men, when all of them make an effort to know andrew more. alright sorry for the very long notes, i hope you guys enjoyed


End file.
